Sadly, over four decades after the civil rights movement of the 1960s, our children are growing up in a society in which prejudice and bigotry are still commonplace. Although laws have been implemented and many attitudes have changed, bigotry based on racial, ethnic, and religious grounds remains too much a part of the daily lives of children and families.

Our children are growing up in a time when the racial and ethnic composition of our country is rapidly changing. In some areas of the nation, groups of people previously characterized as racial or ethnic minorities make up the majority of the population.

Children are also being exposed to different cultures through the media. They are learning and forming opinions about people and events all over the country and the world. As a result, there is more of a need and opportunity to help children learn to understand and value diversity.

Children's encounters with prejudice are not confined to ethnic and racial stereotypes and bias. Every day, children are exposed to the way some individuals are valued more or less because of their gender or age. Young children may or may not be aware of the preferential treatment boys tend to receive from their teachers over girls. But they are very much aware that their feelings, opinions and beliefs receive less consideration because of their youth. As children approach adolescence, they also become increasingly aware of the more subtle prejudices and intolerances tied to differences in social class and religion.

Parenting Classes help you understand the impact of prejudice on children

Children can suffer from a climate of prejudice. Prejudice creates social and emotional tension and can lead to fear and anxiety and occasionally hostility and violence. Prejudice and discrimination can undermine the self-esteem and self-confidence of those being ridiculed and make them feel terrible, unaccepted and unworthy. When that happens, their school performance often suffers, they may become depressed and socially withdrawn and childhood can become a much less happy time.

It is critical that you help your child deal with diversity in a positive way. Prejudice is learned at a very young age from parents, other children and people and institutions outside of the family. By about 4 years of age, children are aware of differences among people, primarily in characteristics like appearance, language and names, but later they are aware of religious and cultural distinctions as well. To some extent, children begin to define and identify themselves through their understanding of these personal differences. This is normal.

As youngsters try to make sense of these individual distinctions, they may hear and accept simplified stereotypes about others. When that happens, they not only develop distorted views of the youngsters and adults they encounter in daily life, but they may start to deny and overlook the common, universal human elements and traits that would bring people together. As a result, intolerance may develop where there should be friendship.

Parenting Classes of how schools can diffuse prejudice

Schools should be a place where your child learns more than academic skills. They should also promote understanding and cooperation among people, not prejudice.

Here are some questions to ask school teachers and administrators about your child's educational environment: 

•  Do learning and problem-solving tasks emphasize cooperation and team play, while minimizing excessive competition? Children should not be placed in situations where differences in gender, race, ethnicity, economic status, and academic ability are stressed, or are even allowed to be expressed in a negative, divisive way. Rather, whether the academic skill being taught is math or spelling, or the activity is drama or sports, part of each child's grade should be dependent on the achievement of the entire group. Team spirit can conquer feelings of difference and separateness that children experience among themselves.
• Does the school have a curriculum that covers the different races, religions and cultures of present-day America? Is your youngster continuously exposed to the achievements and contributions of all Americans and cultures?
• Does the school take advantage of ethnic holidays - Chinese New Year, Cinco de Mayo, Kwanzaa, etc. - for children to actively learn customs and traditions with which they may not be familiar? 
•  Do teachers have open discussions in class about discrimination and negative feelings toward others? If an incident involving prejudice has occurred at school or in the community, is it used as a springboard to discuss these issues in a sensitive, no punitive, no stigmatizing way that emphasizes the common human qualities of people?

Parenting Classes: What are some ways to avoid the stress of being a single parent?

Single parenthood can bring added pressure and stress to the job of raising children. With no one to share day-to-day responsibilities or decision-making, single parents must provide greater support for their children while they themselves may feel alone. The following suggestions may help reduce stress in your family:

Get A Handle On Finances Learn how to budget your money. Know when your paycheck or other income will arrive, and keep track of household bills. Do what you can to improve your finances. If you need a job, contact employment and temporary agencies for help. If you need more education, consider getting your high school diploma, a college degree, or other special training.

Talk Early and Often Let your children know about the changes in the family. Sit quietly with your children and allow them to talk about their feelings.

Find Support and Use It Don't try to handle everything by yourself. You will need the support that family and friends can give. Get to know other single parents through support groups. Your pediatrician can also be a great source of help and information.

Take Time For Family Being a single parent can be overwhelming. Set aside some time each day to enjoy your children. Spend quiet time playing, reading, working on arts-and-crafts projects, or just listening to music together. Your time is one of the most important things you can give to your children.

Take Time For Yourself Time spent away from your children is important for you and for them. Being a single parent doesn't mean you can't have an adult life. Get a babysitter and enjoy some time alone or with friends. Do things that you like. Go to a movie. Find a hobby.

Keep A Daily Routine Schedule meals, chores, and bedtimes at regular times so that your children know what to expect each day. A routine will help them feel more secure.

Maintain Consistent Discipline Divorced or separated parents should work together to discipline their children the same way. Check your local library for books on parenting. Local hospitals, the YMCA, and church groups often sponsor parenting classes. Learning good ways to handle your children's behavior will reduce stress for all of you.

Treat Kids Like Kids Though being a single parent can get lonely, try not to treat your children like substitutes for a partner. Try not to rely on them for comfort or sympathy.

Stay Positive Be aware that your children will always be affected by your mood and attitude. They will need your praise and your love through hard times. It's okay to be honest about your feelings of sadness and loss, but let them know better times lie ahead for all of you.

Take Care of Yourself This is a difficult time for you, too. Exercise regularly, eat healthy, and get enough rest so you can better deal with stress. Visit your own doctor on a regular basis.

Find Good Child Care Good child care is essential for your children's well-being and your peace of mind. Finding quality child care may be one of the most difficult tasks you will face.
Keep the following in mind:

• Never leave your children home alone. Find someone you trust to take care of them while you are working.
• Don't rely on older brothers and sisters to babysit for younger siblings.
• Be careful about asking new friends or partners to watch your children, even for a short time. They may not have the patience, especially if a child's behavior becomes difficult.
• Children need to be cared for by an adult with proven experience in child care. The best way to make sure your child is getting good care is to visit the child care center or watch your babysitter when he or she is with your children.

Your pediatrician can offer advice on finding the best child care for your family. Your local city or county government may also have a list of licensed child care centers or homes.

Last Updated

11/18/2011

Source

Caring for Your School-Age Child: Ages 5 to 12 (Copyright © 2003 American Academy of Pediatrics)